Bonnie, when I read the title and subtitle, I had a feeling about what this article would be, and I was right. What you did for those kids is similar to what I do for a living. In my case, though, the kids are homeschooled, and the parents are requesting help. My specialty is Reading and Language Arts, so if the parents feel that isn't their strength, they may want help. In other cases, the child is struggling due to disabilities or is very young, and we don't know why they're having difficulty.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT that, in many cases, just having someone work with them one-on-one is the key to everything, especially with neurodivergent learners. It kills me that kids with "behavior problems" are approached with the assumption that they are bad FIRST. Often the disability isn't discovered until middle school or later. My son was ten, and his autism was only found because I kept bringing him back and pushing for more testing after being sent away empty-handed.

A little child who doesn't like school or has trouble behaving is a red flag. They can't articulate what is happening, but some part of them knows they are not doing well, but when they are taught in a way that helps them learn, voilá! No more behavior issues. Kids DO NOT BEHAVE THAT WAY TO "TEST YOU." But they do feel hurt and shame when they can tell they don't belong. When we punish them instead of helping them, we create scars and trauma that can take decades to heal.

Your guess that it is the school system is also correct. Teachers have their hands tied. On more than one occasion, I was asked not to advocate for my students because it wasn't my role. As a mother, I was told that I couldn't have a reading book more than one level higher than grade level because it "wouldn't be a good idea."

This is why I'm a huge proponent of homeschooling, parent co-ops, microschools, and small progressive schools.

Kudos to you for paying attention to these children's needs and fighting for them.